Monday Melbourne Roundup

Douglas Coupland once said that every city has a particular smell, rattling off what the cities he has lived in/loved imprinted on his brain. It really got to me and my nose has been taking in an olfactory registry of the passing seasons of my 4 years in Melbourne….

Northside in winter smells like, nag champa, wood burning fires and cumin

Northside in summer smells like, pot, orange juice and coffee

The city continuely smells like chinese barbeque, garbage and coffee

Port Melbourne has a heady mixture of the stinky STINKY Port (which can only be described as the smell of sludge) and the Vegemite factory.

What does Melbourne smell like to you? Or the city that you live in?

Out

Arch Enemy Eyebrows

I'm extremely fussy with my eyebrows, its my one beauty thing I consistently shell out for. Aff isnt cheap but she is the best. I mean it when I say that, Afnaan Gardner is the best eyebrow shaper in Melbourne. $75 for initial consultation (up to an hour) and $55 each subsequent shaping. (Aff is about to go on leave for a month which means there is probably a 2.5 month wait to see her so make a booking NOW).

Retrostar $10 Warehouse Sale

We got there about 9.30. Too too nuts for me. Clare can totally go into the zone, me, I just freak out so I left within about 10 minutes. Clare nabbed some serious bargains though, me I spent all my money on ebay and am now totalitarian in my rule that I only buy things on the internet. I absolutely hate going to shops.

Paris Match - Australian Ballet



My friend Jude invited me to the ballet last Thursday night. I've never been before and I just found it so enchanting and magical. It was so beautiful. I have nothing to compare it to but Jude said it was the second best she had been to. The first half was traditional with the whole white tutu thang happening and the second half was modern with this stunning costumes. I had a little teary, it was so divine. Thanks Jude, I enjoyed myself so much, you really gave me a gift.

Tank Girl


I received a free mini pass to the animation festival, sadly this is the only session I did manage to make. I saw Tank Girl when it first came out and I thought it was pretty naff, I was however, 15 at the time. Now almost 30, and infinantly less cynical I actually really super enjoyed it. The animation was awesome and Lori Petty is a total honey. So so SO 90's though, from the Courtney Love compiled soundtrack to the butch/femme sensibilities of every woman in that movie, it made me homesick for an era. How weird is that?

Eats/Drinks

Movidas

Late night wine and dessert after the ballet. I thought I would be safe with the churros because most dark chocolate churros are vegan (I should have asked) they ended up being milk chocolate but I ate them anyway. I've had a few vegan slips lately. Its been harder this time around, I'm not as militant in my beliefs and I'm more concerned about others feelings around it and making them feel comfortable, I guess I'm feeling really in your face political about my eating decisions and self concious about that. I think I need to get over it a bit. Has anyone else felt like this?


Recorded Music Salon

I love this bar. Ok so I guess my equal favourite haunt in the city. It just so, dare I say it, civilised. We went for pre Tank Girl drinks there, it was half full, lovely music playing (mixture of Stones, garage rock, some punk all good stuff), they got rid of the grotty couches and put in some sterile kind of tables but its ok. There is food there now (unsure if there was before acutally) but we had some nice hummus and nice wine. I love it there. I LOVE IT THERE. I need to make a more concious decision to hang out there more. John Cusak would hang here. They also have a solid staff of hot lesbian/gay bar tenders.

Von Haus

I met my ex-husband there for a quick coffee after work on Friday night. Heroin for the soul. I was tucked away out the back, on a side table with only candles for light in the chilly Melbourne night. Being there, reading, drinking coffee and laughing with my ex love, with the chill somehow not permeating makes me so in love with this city I never want to leave. I never fully understood the romantic heart or 'romanticism' the way that its portrayed in music/film/poetry until now. Sad that it took a city not a person to help me understand it but.. Perhaps I haven't been ready until this point. Either that or I find romanticism an experience much greater than the gestures of a person, it’s the elements, the moon, wine, laughter, the smell of wood fire…. That’s engulfs me in a gigantic love blanket. Probably growing older too and appreciating people not dying for a while, having a job and necessities in life also....

Monday Melbourne Roundup

Out

FBI Fundraiser Roxanne Parlour

Let me set the scene. Carla is quite drunk, Carla is hungry, Carla inhales some Japanese at a speed that frightens the sweet hostess. Carla is pouty that Daniel doesn’t want to go to the only thing that would have been good on Friday night (Swizzle a go go), Daniel being a much larger more insufferable snob than Carla and is harder to get to come around. Daniel scours a Beat, Carla is insistent that she knows exactly what is going on in town and its either the FBI fundraiser or Swizzle (my preference). Too drunk to argue and Roxanne Parlour being around the corner we go. We had just missed the Frowning Clouds (the only reason why I wanted to go - oh and you know.. Altruism) and there was hardly anyone there. Stroppy, like real stroppy at that point because I had been proven RIGHT and shitty that we hadnt gone to Swizzle, I flopped on a couch, got really surly and complained a lot. We left after seeing like 4 songs from the Hot Little Hands (good band btw). Hilarity ensued.

Abbotsford Cycles

I had been doing up a bike frame, and seriously, bike people seem to be the worse fucking snobs on the planet. Like Brunswick St Cycles BSC) those people are just fucking RANK. I will NEVER go back there again, what rude utter wankers. Cycle places in Brunswick fare better, Lygon st cycles are fab and so are Rays, real helpful polite staff. I took this frame that had a crack in it to Abbotsford, they specialise in bike repair (they don’t sell bikes) and they were the only people who would a: listen to me about the frame without instantly dismissing it and b: gave me very polite pragmatic advice about the frame and c: said they could fix it if I was willing to after weighing up the options. This dudes are the fucking shit, hands down. Go there.

Eats/Drinks

Gingerlee
Breakfast. Clare had poached eggs and I had avocado and braised mushrooms. We both had short blacks (excellent coffee). Served on Dench bread this is breakfast at its most simple and finest. Theres been a lot of hot debate over this café on all the Melbourne food blogs, it probably made a massive difference that we went late Wednesday morning as opposed to the stressed rush of Saturday morning, but the service was charming and they were very vegan accommodating. Mental note, next time I'm just going to order the full breakfast and a side order of toast for Clare and I, that way she can eat the eggs and the feta and me the avo and mushrooms (she hates both). I would highly recommend Gingerlee and I'm happy we've found another good place in Brunswick to eat breakfast.


Red Hummingbird
Guys, as Ive said a lot, everywhere is a brothel on Friday night after work and I'm an insanely caustic northside snob. I'd always written off Red Hummingbird as some wanker place, full of suits to be avoided. Its quite simply, charming. Snob 0 Melbourne 1. The interior is *stunning*, the staff friendly, the beer selection excellent and the roof top smoking area is *gorgeous*. Yeah it filled up with probably *less desirable* types on a Friday night but I never really noticed. I'm glad I went, like really glad. It would be seriously awesome for a mid week drink with less people.


Penny Blue
Penny blue is a gorgeous bar, the interior is stunning however, you know the Friday night rule, there was some dick playing "hard house" there and it was full of upper class bogans. We stayed for a drink, Daniel probed a bit too much and I had a cry (jesus who knew I could be *so* sensitive, that and his barrister mind is good at zoning in on and picking at peoples emotional scabs) I was disappointed to see that it goes so gross on the weekend, strictly for Monday through Wednesday. Great beer selection though.

Baba
Dinner. Yo! I was really really disappointed in Hellenic (like worst), I found pretty much every dish bar one really boring and bland, so having a friend in town and wanting to go somewhere new (to me) we went to Baba on Lygon St East Brunswick. Man DEEELICIOUS. Not as good as Rumis (which has moved apparently, I was shocked to go to the Alderman last night to find that Rumis had gone!) but quite close. The space is beautiful and the staff are quick, efficient and polite. They do vegan, vegetarian and meaty mezze plates for tables over 4 and serve them all at the same timing. I don’t really remember what we ate (soused) I do remember the hummus and the roasted pumpkin salad! This place rocks and its very reasonably priced. I'm trying to encourage a group dinner that’s coming up to go there, watch this space!

The Alderman
So snuggly. Especially in winter. Love this bar.

Vegetarian food pyramid

Monday Melbourne Roundup

Out
August: Osage Country

I'm really really enjoying my subscription to the Melbourne Theatre Company (and being under 30 it only cost me $200!!). Clare and I have been to 6 plays so far, 3 have been gobsmacking, one was amusing (but totally won us over because of the set and that Marg Downey was in it SWOON), and the other 2 were just shit (too, boring for us), so I think that is a good wicket. August: Osage Country, staring the supreme dame of the theatre, Robin Nevin, is spell binding, jaw dropping, skin tingling. Tackling a subject that I am most ferocious on, I did not even notice the 3.5 hours I was there (if you know me, you know that I baulk at going to anything with an interval, let alone 2 intervals). Set in the south, surrounding a family in crisis, the play lampoons the Baby Boomers and the barren emotional legacy they are leaving us. Families choosing to die out rather than procreate, to do what we want as opposed to what has been dictated, to live a life of authenticity as opposed to the unexpressed shams that belie most of the marriages of the Boomer Generation. Twists and turns, an amazing set (recycled from Poor Boy which kind of shat me for the first 5 minutes but I soon forgot), a stellar cast, plays like this is the whole reason I go to the theatre. Food for the mind, teething rusk for the heart, I get to play out my subconcious feelings, impart them onto someone else and watch my darkness come true. Go. See. It. Truly truly amazing.

Eats/Drinks
The Union
Book club at the Union this month. A great little pub, good pub food, very little pretention, good music, open fireplace. Was a nice night.

Birdman Eating

Ok little spot. The interior is ok, certainly a bit better than most places Fitzroy/Colllingwood these days. Clare and I shared the Quinoa Porridge (with coconut milk, banana and palm sugar) and the beans on toast. The beans were ok, nothing special (pretty boring actually, just like 3 bean salad mix with a tin of tomatoes thrown in it and some herbs) and the quinoa porridge (although 10 points for such a great idea) was too overwhelming. Nice spot, great service, just nothing that special.


Walkers Hotdog Stand
I love the Walkers Hot Dog man, he is so smily and lovely. Yum.

Lord of the Fries
I was surprised when I realised on Saturday that I had refrained from Lord of the Fries for the week, it of course sewed a seed and I had to have some that day. Curse you LOTF. On a side note, they now sell vegan sausage rolls and pies (I'm almost positive from La Panella). LOTF is seriously becoming vegan corner. Fab.

La Panella Bakery

La Panella rocks. Run by some sort of weird Buddhist vegan cult members (they follow the supreme master - suprememaster.tv) they make some seriously amazing vegan goodies. Pies, sausage rolls, doughnuts, apple scrolls, lemon tarts, jam buns… you want it they make it. Seriously cheap we stocked our freezer for $12 (scary), I had a serious white flour/sugar tummy ache after going there, so not for very often, just once in a while ;).

Monday Melbourne Roundup

I've had absolutely no inclination to go out, I've been loving watching movies so much lately and hanging out at my flat. I've been reading like a mofo lately too. So all in all I've done NOTHING. I've been cooking shitloads, cooking and reading. Last week I did not do anything, did not go to a single café/restaurant I don’t even think I ate Lord of the Fries. I've got a few things on this week so look forward to the next Monday Melbourne Roundup.

Monday Melbourne Roundup

Well, I've been quite the hermit lately actually. I've been really loving being at home, that and I've been spending all my money on ebay and my art projects right now. So I spent most of the weekend at home, cooking and reading and watching the first 2 seasons of Extras (are there anymore after that?)

Out

Vic Markets

I don’t know why I stopped going to be honest. I used to go every Saturday morning, it makes me so happy to be there. The fresh produce, all the nonnas, all the yelling. I love just seeing all the lovely fresh food too. I do get over it however and just bail once my green bag is full. I'll be going every Saturday again I think from now on.

Radical Groceries

Live in Brunswick? Vegan? Into freetrade? Please shop here. I try and buy like $30 worth of stuff a week. Its more expensive but its important to support business ventures like this.

Eats/Drinks

iCarusi

A different experience vegan, which kind of made me sad. I had the pizza for a friend with no goats cheese which was still nice but nothing exciting. They have a license now so you cant byo beer anymore and corkage is $7.50 per bottle of wine.

Shinjuku

My obsession will wane soon, its hard though, there's so few nice places to go on Sydney road and its just on the corner of my street. The agedashi tofu was average, had the pumpkin stir fry which was nice and fresh and the nasu dengaku (always my fave) is actually really nice there so it’s a cheap and cheerful win.

The East Brunswick Club

I'd never been there for food, and when organising my Melburnian familia dinner, it was suggested we go there as we have quite a few vegans amongst us. The vegan menu is pretty amazing. From what I can tell they use Toffutti for most of their soy products (Im really getting grossed out by Tofutti, its just so bad for you and my homemade tofu sour cream is much nicer). I shared some wedges with sweet chili and sour cream and I had the "chicken" salad. The East is pretty darn expensive. $8 for bottle of Squire. That’s crazy. And $9 for a pint?! And $17 for basically some lettuce, onion, tomato and shaved cucumber and deep fried glunks of fake chicken? Pretty exe. The salad was really nice though and I tasted a bit of the fake duck salad which was delicious. If you go on $10 Monday, you've got yourself a feast for a really reasonable price. Outside of that I don’t think I'll go there for dinner. I always measure something by the vegie bar, where the average meal is $10 that you can usually share amongst two people and is always so fresh and packed with so much variety of vegies. Surely the Vegie Bar has the most in overheads out of the majority of vege restaurants as well in this city? Anyway, its quality stuff but too rich for my blood. That seems to be Brunswick these days, $17 for a vegan meal that consists of very little ingredients (my gripe with the retreat too).

Mr Wilkinson

Was pretty packed on Friday night but it was nice, bizarro people go there but it wasn’t your usual totally offensive Friday night crowd. Mr W is becoming frequented by me.